A Month Of 20

It’s already a month that I’ve been 20, and much has happened with much to think about…I realized I haven’t been mature enough to be called a 20 teen…but then, if people keep seeing me as a little girl, then I guess I’ll be a little girl then…sometimes, we don’t want to think about what people think about us, but sometimes what they say is sometimes true… Never mind what I said, it’s what you say that counts…

Surprisingly, I’ve learn a lot about things that happen in my life…what happened to me, my family and friends will always comes to mind….At certain rate it happens to fast that I cant breath…At times, its too hard to forget which made me realize… … I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, I regret to have done it…But I’m glad it happened so that I’ll never make the same mistake again and ironically, I remember it well enough not to do the same mistake again…People make mistakes…And they deserve a second chance…

Haha….guess I have much to laugh about…thinking back…I never thought I’d be so stupid at times…dumb~~~ …haha…It’s true that sometimes, I can be a hypocrite….Doesn’t everyone else does? I know sometimes I can be childish or immature, but maybe I’m too mature ….what is maturity actually? Too be able to smile when you hurt the most? To be able to forget your problems? To laugh when you’re actually crying so hard inside? To be able to let go of what you can’t change? To be able to handle your loneliness by just looking up to the sky? If that’s so…what is immature than… Haha… We put another mask so people wont feel our pain…Well that’s how we are then…Always trying our best to pleasure the people around us…Especially the ones we care most… My happiness is for everyone, my sadness is for my own…

I learned the hard way to understand that crying helps you know yourself…how you get to know your own strength …The more you cry for a certain person, the more you know how much they mean to you…I admit, at first, I thought crying makes you look weak…But later I found out, crying helps too…cause…you know who’s really who… they say let it go but I’d say never let go of what’s precious to you….If it’s a memory that you’re happy with. …It’s you who decide to keep it…

I keep saying to myself I had a hard life…Maybe that’s why, when everything was so easy, I just cant help but making it more complicated…… My wounds are self-inflicted……haha…a stupid and childish me kept saying ‘Be careful!, look before you leap! Prevention is better than cure!’…but things never ever happened the way we want it to be because nothing is perfect…what so perfect of being perfect? Who ever said there was a perfect person? Who ever said there was a perfect life? Who ever said life is easy? Guess I’m too afraid to cross the line…


List of 20 things that I learned in my 20 years of life is;

1)Learn to love unconditionally
2)Smile even when it hurts
3)Never expect to much in life and never take it for granted
4)Know that Hate is just an option
5)Learn to forgive…even if it takes time…
6)We cant always have all the things we wanted because not all plan happens the way we plan it t be.
7)People who hurts us the most are the people close to our hearts
8)Never give up
9)Try to think positive as much as we could
10)Forgive but never forget… so that the same mistake will not happen again
11)Be and trust yourself
12)Sometimes being too independent can make you not appreciate people who care for you…
13)Never count what others give, it’s what we give that counts…Giving is better than taking…
14)Be patient as long as you can…even if it is the hardest ting to do…
15)Change for yourself and for the best
16)Never stop having faith
17)Sing you heart out…the more people are annoyed…the better
18)Family is family…how bad or good they are… just learn to deal with it…
19)Hearing is not listening…
20)Life is already difficult, don’t make it more difficult



It’s the state of bliss you think your dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that your feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you want to cry…
-Innocence-





Got hurt by you, but still love you in the morning…

The saddest thing that happened in my life…happens when nobody’s listening…

To be loved is the best feeling...addiction....

It hurts a lot, but I’m glad it happened.....



written:April 16,2008