not well

my head hurts...
my tummy hurts even more....

but hurts the most is...

nobody seem to care....

or is it just me?

where we are...

would you say we wasted our time?
would you care to look back at the past?

stay way you are....
didnt we made it this far?
did we made it thru the racket?

havent it occured to you that your sadness was mine too?
do you feel what i feel?

can you hear my heartbeat when i see you?
will i see you?

why is it just simple words break the heart?
why is it that a simple indifference would shrug away all confidence?

the memories are dimmed....
i'm not that forgetful you see...
i'll remember every memory that always come to heart...
if i cant remember...
than its either it didnt touched my heart or just wasnt there....

they say 'i' is a selfish word....
but 'ego' was much worse....

dont i have the right to be understand?
why do i have to keep guessing?

why do you always compare your life with mine?
when will you understand its not the same...
its never the same...

i'm not missing you now....
i'm missing the old you...

you want the old me...
you want me happy-go-lucky...
but how can i be that..
when im lost without you?

a story of a necklace

jealousy...

thats what i saw in your eyes when i broke the news....
you ask for the price and told me how expensive it was...
you made a face and went to your room for a long time....

my excitement for that day was lost by that moment....
my effort to make myself away was wash away just by that...

did it occured to you that i was proud of myself?
did it occur to you that i never meant to make you feel bad?

i kept asking myself what was wrong...
what significant act that i did that always make you upset...

did you know that i originally wanted to kept it a secret?
that i brought it to be the sunlight in my life...
a hope...
a dream...
or
a maybe even a present for myself...

i have never thought youd say those words...
how it had made me worried...
how i felt sad over such little time of excitement...

i vowed that day...
that i promise to myself...
if i wanted to make myself happy...
i'll just keep it to myself...
if me being sad or unhappy has made your day...
then its fine by me...

its been along time a feel happy and proud...
though youd like the share...
maybe i should follow my first instinct...
just shut up and kept it a secret....

no one will notice or care....

its weight i will carry..
not as a burden....
i'll let it shine...
i'll held it in my hands...
i'll grasp any hope it gives...
it'll be my vision...

your indifference will soon meant nothing to me...
what i feel i'll care now....
i'll keep it to myself now....

they say sharing is caring...
i guess that doesnt imply in my case...

60th

"Love's good when it's right and when it's left in your memory"

205 days....

que pasa?

the darkness crawls around me throughout the day
days has passed and the strength has gone weak
time has passed and yet no progress has been made
brought a little sunlight but that didnt change
sharing is caring yet there nothing more to share
near death panel yet a smile was given anyway
the past has come again as a haunted ghost,cursed maybe?
hope has gone far as imagiation will follow
the precious is broken can you hear it break?
how could a pure blood be left to bleed?
has it gone too far to turn back around?
too much have been risk yet so much has been lost
time has been wasted as effort will carry it...
should it?