I Love The Way You Lie

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right because I like the way it hurts,
Just gonna stand there and watch me cry,
But that's all right because I love the way you lie....

Sometimes the simplest songs can reflect at how you feel...Sometimes some song just got stuck in your head, you cant help but wonder what the singers or composers are trying to tell...many of us dwell on things we cant rather understand and be stuck with it for long time...you forgot to let it go....

In this life we hold on to whats dear in our life to stay strong...be it lovable family and close friendships, we tend to stay within those comfort zone....it's safe to say we are always afraid to get hurt or feel isolated and insecure....those are the most common thing I've ever seen trough out my life f 22....

when you look in the
mirror

, tell me what you
see...

Few of us look trough mirror and admit what we see...we never really see ourselves more often then the usual usual claims of those who doenst want to hurt us...we wrap ourselves with their expectations...and somewhat agreeable to all that doesnt really matter...looks, wealth, attitude....we are deceived by our own self proclaim....

A few times in my life that Ive seen another self in my reflection...on all occasion, it projects all the feelings that Ive kept inside and to pround or shy to be told to anyone...

The first occasion was when I was a little girl, around 4-5 years of age...when I look trough the mirror, I could see myself....shirt straight hair,chubby and skinny in the most funniest way...hyper and free...stubborn and annoying...as well as protective to the people surrounds me....I never did worry about anything back then but somehow I always felt an itch....something disturbing for the coming years....


The second occasion is when I was around 11-16 years of age...the face has utterly change..and looks older than it should be...my hair was thinning...my eye bags starts to show...worry and confusion traces are all over the face....those are the years when I started feeling betrayed and isolated in a room full of people...

The third occasion, 17-19 of age....I cant see my face...just the particulars such as eyes and hair....I cant understand back then but I think there was an event that I was pretty much hurt...and that was the first time I lost a good friend....and it was the first time I was fooled by the people I trust..guess I was too ashamed to look at myself for having foolishly step on and used so easily by others....

The forth occasion, 19-21 of age...my reflection is someone else...I see by hair is short..i'm wearing spectacles..and I look chinese..hahaha....its so absurd I always catch myself smiling at my own reflection...who knew that person will be my first love? (>_<)

Right now, I'm seeing myself clearly and need clarification on who I am...am I really that nice, too naive? too agreeable? what are really my flaws? what are my values?....am I worth saving? am I important to anybody?

I for one loves who I am eventhough occasionaly I do hate myself..its a love-hate tragedy and I dont think it will change much the coming years.....its hard to change you you are when you dont know what your worth....how would changing yourself change others preception? how would it satisfy you? if changing is possible,does it matter to have a stand ground? are you really yourself....? so much questions to ponder right? i guess time will tell....

If you love yourself , be true to yourself....you'll never some time or another, you'll need it....it's the original that we always look for.....and there's nothing wrond to it...I know it.....but it makes you a better person...i guess its worth a try....better person,better life...

people move at their own time and pace, let them be for awhile