How i wish everything was as simple and likeble...even the slightest misunderstanding/ mistake or misconception would bother me right now...its not hard to admit that have no personal grudge towards others people annoying behavior...but i do have a hard time forgetting/forgiving someone for thier bad treatment of me...
for instance,
during my secondary school days, i was a complete freak you can call 'too different'...im the kind of girl that would rather read books than watching tv, i love hanging out with boys than girls,im too obedient, i too shallow and i'd prefer to be friends with people who are interested in me rather than having a awkward conversation...beig true to myself..thats a person that i'll always be because thats me...
people judge me the moment they see or hear my name...trust me, its not easy to have an adverb as a name...people always make fun of it as if it a joke or would hate me for it since they have to call me 'Sayang'...i on the other really prefer people calling me 'Nana' or 'Syazanna' ....whats the big deal? i love my name and i hate it when people have the nerve tell me they have a problem calling me 'Sayang'' since their not single anymore...what a load of bull....some people just tajea look at me and say that im obnoxious...whatever...some even had the nerve to yell/make faces/tengking/jeling or whatever rude remarks too me...and i have absolutely no idea why since i cant recall what did i ever do to them...i am a lone ranger you know..what could i do to deserve that kind of treatment?.....
and the funny thing is...they keep coming and suddenly were 'best friends!'..
another bull....
people lie to me because i'm too trustfull
people took advantage of me because i'm too nice
people hate me if i speak my mind
people doubt me because i'm small...
but somehow they expect me to be PERFECT
i hate to complain the same ting over and over but its just soo frustrating!!!!
when all the while i thought i could stay, i'll suddenly be kicked out....
when all the while i thought i could trust, i'll be taken advantage of...
when all the while i thought i could be myself, i'll get stabbed in the back....
why is it so hard to find someone who really appreciates you for who you are....no matter how hard you fall or how hard you climb...it would be nice to have someone to share it with...without worrying about being judge, inferior or hurt?.......its always have been the same cycle and im so tired of it....
i know lately im dont sound happy as i used too...but what else do i have right now?
sometimes somethings happen too much....
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