Jaded

maybe time does tell what we really mean to a person
how they treat us as we are
how they accept us

i admit,
sumtimes i do fell like giving up...
to give up being nice
to give up putting a good front
to give up to care
to give up on havng hope

i do admit,
i've left all the things that i love to do...
like drawing views and things that i like
like singing to myself
like helping others
like watching beaches,forests and mountains
like painting a beautiful view

i feel sad because i love it so much and yet i've stopped doing all of it because some people say its a waste of time and boring....not that i blame them but i blame myself for actually following it...

its sad because i thought it was the right thing to do since they drill into your mind they want the best for u...or...is it really the best for them?

i know God gave me these trials to make me strong...
i know some people do love me the way i am....
i know i cant please everyone...

but why cant i help thinking that i've failed?

i dont like stalling
i dont like fighting
i dont like yelling
and i especially hate getting angry

because everytime i do, i tend to say and do sumthing that i'll regret

but if you dont tell then whats wrong, they'll juz consider u perfect

why cant we set our mind that nothing is perfect?

why do i feel so jaded?

why do i cry in the middle og the night?

why?