2010...
A benchmark for all the new events in my life...
UTP wise- im finally a final year student
Family wise- i dunt know which -> better or worst
Relationship wise- Alhamdullilah~
Peer wise- same status as family
Sometimes its hard living a double life...youve got fed up with all the bullshits that happening....who wants to have a poker face everytime you walk into the house and pretend everything is ok?
maybe for some people its easier to fake,for me...truth is always the best....even when it hurts...life can be unpredictable in many ways and aspects...sometimes it hurts even more when its not accepted...but on another view..you knows whos best for you.....
i dunt get it when some people have less respect for others privacy and suddenly all emotional when the truth came out....i dont feel any guilt of what i did...the truth should come out to know whos right or wrong....i cant even understand the concept of avoiding/ignoring someone juz because we owe to others...sounds childish right?
more and more i feel insecure...it saddens the most when that speacial someone have to go great lengths just so you can get it right in your head..its also a shame its done in a harsh way and u cant easily forget what they say....its a conflict that i must endure and solve myself....
i'm tired of putting myself in layers
i'm tired of lying to myself
i'm tired of letting myself endure such pain i cant even breath
i'm tired of thinking how naive and stupid i am
i'm tired of thinking my flaws and pursuing others to accept it
many people say that i'm obnoxious on my first day with them
some also say that i'm 'menyusahkan hdup' ....
its sad when i remember...
feels like your purpose in life is to 'menyusahkan hidup' of others...
i guess being independent doenst count on that...
all's all
i hope history doenst repeats itself
i hope i'm string enough to endure the pain thats coming
i hope i can let it go easily
i hope i never cross the line of sanity....
smile even when it hurts
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