Giving the best

Do you always give your best?

Sometimes i do ask myself these questions since i always end up dissapointing people...especially the people i love...

Sometimes I do wonder was doing the best was enough...since i dont feel appreciated with what i do....

i juz dont understand why is it so hard to please them...theres always some fault or mistake that will be brought up...

I know i always want to give my best as well as showing them of what i can do...it may take awhile to deliver since im too stupid or so...they might have thinking it as an excuse but only God knows why....

maybe thats the reason im so sick of caring.....some friends always tend to say im caring..and i agree because thats who i am...but some dont..they just think of it as being busy body or spoilt....is it too much for being caring?


i know im not perfect ...because sumtimes i do it to myself too...

i know nobodys perfect but what i dont get is that you always label someone with expectations..and when thats not met...you lash out at them to satisfy your expectation..to make them feel so low to the bottom...even you may never know when it'll come up again...

what i know that what i do is not to satisfy others but rather to prove to myself that i can do it...

i want and like to give them the best...but its always not enough when its not in time...whats saddens me most is that i didnt knew or know what theyre expectation untill i get the lash....

i dont blame them...
i blame myself...
i dunno myself anymore...
im lost....
im a lousy loser...